A Different Course

The brief Holiday is over and it is back to normal life, if you can call it that. S and I had a great game of Mini Golf, she beat me 56 to 60, par 46, well deserved! That night I received an email from my Oncologist in Newcastle NSW. He suggests that I see him in 3-4 months from now. I was so relieved to receive this news as I do not wish to leave my beloved S any sooner than I have to. My flight is booked for early July….

Unfortunately I will not make the required 12 months living in Canada before I can apply for permanent residency, so I am not sure what will happen there. I don’t know how long I will have to stay in Australia, but I plan to return as soon as I can. S told me that if I have to stay longer she will come out and stay with me.

As for treatment, who knows? I guess it will be the usual run of tests and jabs, try this, try that and see what happens. I wonder sometimes, are we treating the psa or are we treating the disease? I feel fine, I have no symptoms of cancer. If you saw me you would say he is pretty fit for a 70 year old!

Tonight I give my maiden speech at Toastmasters. I really enjoy doing this, it helps take my mind off other things. I am a little apprehensive, but well prepared. Will let you know how it goes…..

Not So Good News

As can be seen from my latest psa chart, my psa has begun to rise, with a vengeance! 48.6 up from 12.9 in 3 months. I still hope for a black salve miracle, but it is a faint hope. My psa is doubling every 5 weeks, so by the end of April I fear it will be over 100! Re Black Salve- My back is still producing small eruptions near my spine. Something is happening, I don’t know what. I have had no ill effects, so maybe another course won’t hurt!!

S and I have booked a 3 day holiday on Vancouver Island next week for my 70th. We plan to enjoy it. Barring a miracle lottery win I will have to make the hard decision…Do I return to Australia for treatment? Do I stay and await what comes?

I feel fine within myself, even my sinuses are a bit better. I don’t want to leave S and return to Australia, not knowing how long before I can come back to her. I don’t know how such a move will affect my chances at gaining permanent residency in Canada. Not well, I suspect.

A part of me wants to stay and enjoy what I have for as long as I have, but S wants me to get the best treatment I can. I don’t know what treatment that would be. Radiation or Chemo? How long will it take? How much benefit would there be? What is my prognosis if I do nothing? Can I put S through the pain of watching me deteriorate? Life seems so unfair. My original life estimate was 15 years- that was back in 2008. It hasn’t even been 10 years. It was only 12 months ago that I had radiation to a pelvis metastasis. So many questions. I have contacted my oncologist in Australia for advice and am waiting for his reply.

Medical costs in this country are out of reach as I have no insurance or eligibility for government assistance. Maybe a return to Australia is inevitable. Decisions…

In a recent post I asked a friend to list 7 things she would do if she had less than a year to live. She challenged me to do the same, so here goes:

  1. I would make sure my loved ones know that they are loved by me.
  2. I would visit long lost relatives. I would get as many hugs from them as I can.
  3. I would try to leave no financial burdens for anyone.
  4. I would enjoy each day as it comes.
  5. I would remember every day that life is worth living.
  6. I would maintain hope for a miracle.
  7. I would trust my doctors and also try every alternative within reason.

Of course this is subject to change at any time!!

God blessĀ  my fellow sufferers and all of you who support me. I appreciate you, every one!!