Got the news last Wednesday…psa is up to 16.7 from 10.2 a month ago. I saw my oncologist today and he said he is disappointed. Me too, I said. It seems likely that the Zytiga is no longer working. We will persist for another month and if still rising I will have some scans and possibly back to the radiation oncologist. I am still recovering from kidney stones and it has not been the best couple of weeks. I also had my 3 monthly Zoladex injection. The nurse said she hates doing Zoladex injections. It is a huge needle that injects a pellet into my abdomen. What about me, I said!
I am still trying to figure out how I feel about it all. Chemo was mentioned and dismissed. Dr Yun also mentioned a radiation treatment involving infusion of radioactive material into the blood stream (Xofigo?) I did some research and it seems BC Cancer Agency is planning a trial next year and I may qualify. Preliminary tests have shown great promise. A radioactive isotope targets cancer cells and destroys them while leaving healthy cells alone. There is still some hope. Google “Lutetium PSMA” for more information.
Next week I will have another bone scan. At least it will give us a picture of where the bone metastases are.
There are things I would still like to see and do. I need to prioritize because there is no way I can do them all. Most important at this time is to finish 3 tapestries, maybe 4 or 5 if time permits. Physical activity tires me quickly but needlework calms and distracts me.
I need to downsize as well. I plan to edit my many hours of video into something watchable. I want to post some of my life on YouTube, maybe someone will enjoy it. A video review of my life for my funeral is another project. I am fortunate that I have time to prepare. I am not afraid to die. What concerns me is that I will miss out on seeing some exciting things, such as great grandkids. Sometimes I feel as though it is up to me to make people feel ok when the subject of cancer comes up. I am still me and I will be til the end. Having cancer sorts out the real friends and I am blessed that I have Stefanie, family and friends who will stand by me. I thank God for such people.
Today I am preparing for my nuclear pet scan, psma scan also known as a Gallium scan. It involves being injected with a short acting radioactive substance that will show up any tumours very clearly. Last Friday I visited my GP for the earlier bone scan and CT scan results. The news was not good….
He told me I have significant lesions consistent with metastatic prostate cancer, now showing in my left pelvis, left humerus neck, L4 vertebra and my pubic bone. The psma scan will provide a clearer picture.
I have occasional mild pain in my left hip and lower back, but otherwise I feel great. S will be joining me in Australia in a few weeks, I really miss her even though I am seeing many long lost relatives. S and I will have a great time travelling and visiting friends and family, making the most of life!
My psa was 110 at last count. I will have another test in 3 weeks, hoping for a further decrease from an estimated max of 140. Will it ever reach zero? It doesn’t really matter, it is just a concept, and I will retain the name.
Well, my friends and supporters, the time has come to head off to the hospital. We have such a wonderful health care system in Australia, and I am so grateful for that.
I am hoping they will give me the disk as they did last time, I can have a good look and compare to my last results. My oncologist will see us on the 27th to discuss treatment options. There is still hope!! I cling to that!!
More to report later….
Apprehension is what I feel whenever I am heading into the unknown, especially if danger is involved, such as heading out to sea under sail. I know my ship is strong, I built her myself from steel. I know I am strong, I feel well with no symptoms of cancer. I have every reason to feel good, and yet this psa number overshadows my thoughts like a storm cloud.
My last psa test was on Saturday. 5 weeks ago it was almost 50. If it is still doubling it will be almost 100. Now that is a scary thought, but it is only a thought and it’s just a number. However, I still believe that the black salve is working and disrupting the cancer which makes this a false reading. My hope is that the number will level off or even fall as time goes by.
Nonetheless I am happy and blessed in my life. I am grateful for all that I have. God works in wondrous ways so I trust in Him. I will have a result before the weekend.