The feeling I get when I am heading into the unknown. The same feeling I would get when heading out to sea under sail. Who can say what lies ahead? My ship is sound. I built her myself from strong steel. She can take any weather. What about me? I am strong too and I feel fine. My vital signs are good. Yet….

I had another psa test on Saturday, hoping to get the result Thursday. The last one was a shocker, a four times increase in 10 weeks. It has been 5 weeks. Has it doubled again? If so, it will be close to 100. That scares me, I have to admit. There is a logic that tells me it should be much less than that. A hope that it has fallen to a lower figure.

No point agonising over it, I can’t change the facts. I find out on Thursday.