Not So Good News

As can be seen from my latest psa chart, my psa has begun to rise, with a vengeance! 48.6 up from 12.9 in 3 months. I still hope for a black salve miracle, but it is a faint hope. My psa is doubling every 5 weeks, so by the end of April I fear it will be over 100! Re Black Salve- My back is still producing small eruptions near my spine. Something is happening, I don’t know what. I have had no ill effects, so maybe another course won’t hurt!!

S and I have booked a 3 day holiday on Vancouver Island next week for my 70th. We plan to enjoy it. Barring a miracle lottery win I will have to make the hard decision…Do I return to Australia for treatment? Do I stay and await what comes?

I feel fine within myself, even my sinuses are a bit better. I don’t want to leave S and return to Australia, not knowing how long before I can come back to her. I don’t know how such a move will affect my chances at gaining permanent residency in Canada. Not well, I suspect.

A part of me wants to stay and enjoy what I have for as long as I have, but S wants me to get the best treatment I can. I don’t know what treatment that would be. Radiation or Chemo? How long will it take? How much benefit would there be? What is my prognosis if I do nothing? Can I put S through the pain of watching me deteriorate? Life seems so unfair. My original life estimate was 15 years- that was back in 2008. It hasn’t even been 10 years. It was only 12 months ago that I had radiation to a pelvis metastasis. So many questions. I have contacted my oncologist in Australia for advice and am waiting for his reply.

Medical costs in this country are out of reach as I have no insurance or eligibility for government assistance. Maybe a return to Australia is inevitable. Decisions…

In a recent post I asked a friend to list 7 things she would do if she had less than a year to live. She challenged me to do the same, so here goes:

  1. I would make sure my loved ones know that they are loved by me.
  2. I would visit long lost relatives. I would get as many hugs from them as I can.
  3. I would try to leave no financial burdens for anyone.
  4. I would enjoy each day as it comes.
  5. I would remember every day that life is worth living.
  6. I would maintain hope for a miracle.
  7. I would trust my doctors and also try every alternative within reason.

Of course this is subject to change at any time!!

God bless  my fellow sufferers and all of you who support me. I appreciate you, every one!!


11 thoughts on “Not So Good News

  1. Distressing news indeed. Sorry to hear this. MY PSA was 310 two years ago when I was admitted to hospital on the verge of paraplegia with a tumour in my spine. Radiation therapy, hormone therapy and other stuff and I am now fit and mobile with PSA of 2 (just started rising from a post treatment low of 0.32). I am 55 and we recently bought a 5 acre block near Gympie in Queensland and built a home. Plenty of outdoor work ahead. So, there are options. Wishing you the best of fortunes as you deal with this situation. Cheers, Phil

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Phil, good to hear from a fellow Aussie. I have been to Gympie several times. Thank you for your comment, sorry to hear that your PSA is rising. Must have been a shock to suddenly find a PSA over 300. Did you have any earlier PSA tests or other treatment? I tried to find your blog but it was closed.


      1. There must be something wrong with the info on my comments. The address is I went thru a period of trying to get away from the medical world and just live my life.That is when the PSA increased. I have found good people on wordpress who have been a great help and comfort during this experience. I hope you find likewise. Cheers, Phil

        Liked by 1 person

  2. What a terrible situation to be in, choosing between the one you love and treatment. When I checked into chemo the increase in life was estimated at 2-3 months, and the side effects supposedly weren’t “too bad”. I’m not sure of that to be honest. Worth considering, though.

    In studies I’ve read, most of men with castrate resistant lived about 20 months with no further treatment.

    I know this is scary. It appears my xtandi was good for just one month. It took my PSA from the 70’s down to 17. Now it’s rising again. I get very anxious as the end of the day approaches, knowing another day is passing.

    You are in my prayers.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Are you still on Xtandi? Must be so depressing to see that number rising again after such a promising drop. Really makes you wonder doesn’t it? Sometimes I think we are treating the psa and not the disease! Best wishes my friend, I am praying for you as well.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I am still on the xtandi, and it is depressing to see it go up, but my oncologist said it might not stay down or go any lower. Once we confirm it’s going up all the time, I quit using it. Part of me will be scared, since there isn’t any other drug to take to keep the PSA down. Another part of me will be glad. I’m having serious nausea issues, even with the alfalfa I’m taking. There’s no question in my mind that we are treating the PSA and not the disease.


        1. I am with you on that. I was on another hrt drug a few years ago, calu…something, and my legs started to go into paralysis. Did nothing for the PSA though. We really are guinea pigs for future pca sufferers!

          Liked by 1 person

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